February 11, 2022
My son turned six this week.
Itās wild how one day children are tiny blobs you need to barricade from falling off the couch, and then, overnight, they are performing perfectly-timed standup routines in the backseat of your car.
We spent his birthday week listing what he knows at six that he didnāt know at five.
His sight words. How to write his friendsā names. How to make a list. And also things like how to draw a superhero chicken and that the Jets play football (debatable).
During this holy birthday week, Iām left thinking about all the big business (and life) lessons we get to learn from our littles. Here's what I've got.
1. The right to be a little fearless.
I caught my son Evel Knievelāing across the living room the other night. He positioned a tower of cushions and foam pieces into a ramp and then hurled and rotated his lanky body in the air before landing in a Spiderman pose on the far end of the couch. Oof. š²
Children have a remarkable amount of faith that everything will be okay. Or that even if things donāt go as planned, theyāll still be okay. Trusting your gut, and trusting it enough to leap, is critical in both life and business. Watching my 6yo leap with fearlessness makes me want to do it more too.
2. The freedom to choose something else.
Kids hold no pretense that they know what theyāre doing. It makes them completely unafraid to make a sudden and different choice. There's no embarrassment or shame.
They can demand chicken nuggets but then suddenly want pizza. Or want to be Spiderman, but then choose Black Panther.
Thereās a freedom in that--this idea that we can choose differently even if weāve always approached things a certain way or sat in a specific role. We donāt have to keep our choice forever. If what you have been doing isnāt enabling the other things you want, choose something else.
3. Celebrate everything.
Eating dinner, sharing toys, not screaming in public -- all things we celebrate when performed by a child. Why do we stop celebrating our wins when weāre adults? Don't. Letās be as loud and obnoxious about cheering our successes as our parents were about marking ours. Publicize your Got-Done list.
4. Go around the boss for help.
The line at your bossās door is longer than that of other people in the organization. Donāt go to your boss first. Find a shorter line and a quicker way to yes.
5. Chaos can be fun.
There is no work-life balance. There's no balance at all. There are only ups and downs and chaos. Embrace the messy parts of your work at home and your job.
6. Things donāt go as planned.
Your carefully-tuned marketing plans fall apart. The thing you should have launched in three months is sitting in development 12 months later. You planned your kid's birthday party, but instead, he spends the night getting stitches at Urgent Care. Despite our best intentions, plans change. Know what you canāt control, what you can, and focus on the latter.
7. Take small steps.
Single mom life can feel impossibly hard in those early days of screaming tantrums and negotiating with a tiny dictator. But it taught me that I didnāt need to worry about making it through the whole day. I simply had to get from this moment to the very, very next one. Make it to snack time. Or when we could go outside. That was enough and, in doing that, things get easier (and the tyrant usually calms down). Take the most minor step forward when you feel like you can't do another thing.
8. Nothing makes sense (so donāt take it too seriously).
If youāre not stressing about it in five years, donāt (overly) stress about it now. Most things work out.
9. Keep good notes.
Good notetaking is an underrated business skill. Don't just transcribe what was said. Summarize your notes with the key points you want to remember. It will make your notes so much more helpful later. I like taking handwritten notes but develop your own process for good notetaking. I journal about my days with my son, so when the time comes that he's not little, Iāll remember when he was.
10. Understand the exact ask.
My kid asks questions via wandering 10-minute stories that start with what he had for breakfast, move to his favorite TV show, somehow reference our cat, and hide the pertinent information into the last eight seconds of whatever heās trying to say. You might work with someone who makes asks as clearly as my son.
Take the time to understand the exact ask. Repeat it back before you provide an answer or a solution. Knowing the real question or need is crucial to your ability to meet it, and it might save your butt.
11. Time moves fast.
My once squishy baby is a long-legged six-year-old. Time moves fast, and itās ours to lose. Too often, we think weāll always have the chanceāthe chance to start that project, to learn that piece of technology, to try that thing. Don't wait to move yourself or your business closer to where you want to be. Start today.
12. Communicate why. Not just what.
Leadership isnāt telling people what to do. Itās giving them a reason to get on the bus. Parenting works in the same way.
13. Ask questions to spot the BS.
Why are forks not spoons? Why do they put dead bodies in graves? What is Presidentās Day? All questions Iāve had to field lately. As we age, we stop asking questions because we donāt want to look foolish. Without asking questions and taking the time to learn, weāre left to trust that what other people tell us is accurate. That their idea is the best one. That this is working and that another thing is not. That we have to move in this direction. Ask questions, spot the BS.
14. Say yes when you can.
You canāt always say yes when someone asks for your help or for you to trust them on something. But when you can, take the risk.
15. Stay open to what you never thought youād do.
Raising kids will have you saying and doing all sorts of weird stuff youād never thought youād do. But if you stay open to what comes, you might like what you get back. This week I turned a box of tissues into a Valentineās Day card-eating monster, and it might have been the most fun thing I did all year.
